* United States Marine Corps Birthday: 10 NOVEMBER 1775 * 1) Best haircut. A drill instructor had just been assigned a bunch of new recruits that he had to help train and introduce into the Marine Corps. The first boy doing air squats says âIâm rock climbing.â The second boy running in place says âIâm on tour right now running through the desert.â The third boy doing push-ups says âIâm friends with these two and while theyâre on tour lâm fucking th, No matter how hard I tried, my head just wouldn't fit into that jar. 3) Bloused trousers. I'm the son of a leatherneck and even he thought this one was funny. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. The captain looks at the young man and says âthis barrel wil, An old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. Answers: 1-T; 2-F; 3-T; 4-T; 5-F. 1… In one compartment, he finds a seat near a French elderly woman looking very important. On the first day of basic training in the marines, a drill instructor has new recruits lined up and is dressing them down. 5) If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's … ", . 2) If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. ", When they spot a sheep with its head stuck in a fence. MCO 3574.2K 01 AUG 2007 INTRODUCTION 0001. Being an FNG, the Devil Dog worked long and worked hard, but by the end of his tour, he felt he had. The battalion was deactivated in May, 2014 after the Marine Corps began decreasing its footprint in order to comply with lowering its force size to about 175,000 as directed by congress. On a sheet of paper draw a large rectangle with an "X" thru it and then put a small "X" on top of the rectangle. Now, let’s try it again!” Officer: “Soldier. 3) If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. 2) Dress blues. Members. What do you call a Marines with an IQ of 160? A British SAS squad and an American Marines squad are together in the middle of a city. They all were out in the forest and the secretary of defense said "Listen up, your objective today is go out into the woods and bring me back a rabbit". Officer: “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?” Soldier: “Sure, buddy.” Officer: “That’s no way to address an officer! During training, he just can't keep up, so the Sergeant tells him to go home and wait until he's called upon as a reserve. I was involved in the Korean War. You can't have a bad hair day with a high and tight. "May I ask what happened?" He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. They also make a great gift for veterans and families. So as a young marine gets on his ship he asks the captain what he is to do about his sexual urges. They fall under the command of the 1st Marine Regiment and the 1st Marine … The chief says they are going to eat them and use their skin for canoes, but they can choose their own method of death. An Army Ranger was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay … He then jumps off the cliff and dies. A Marine rowing a boat in the Atlantic Saying “1 2 3 4, MARINE CORPS, MARINE CORPS!” God looks down upon it and see’s this. Hands down. 1) If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. * United States Marine Corps Birthday: 10 NOVEMBER 1775 * 1) Best haircut. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. Two Generals of the Army and Marines are joined by an Admiral of the Navy around a campfire off the landing zone doing shots of rye whiskey when someone calls out and asks whoâs got the most balls. Another distinctive Marine look that sets the proudest service members apart. It just being shellfish and it's giving me a bad haddock. God says “Well surely he wants to die, and I’m an asshole so I’m kill him but in a really roundabout way.” God snaps his fingers and the marines … Lyrics for 1, 2, 3, 4 Marine Corps by Motova8. 1st Battalion, 4th Marines (1/4) is an infantry battalion in the United States Marine Corps based out of Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, California consisting of approximately 800 Marines and sailors. A tribute to the United States Marine Corps and the reasons why they are superior to the many organizations of the world . They've advertised, offered college money, granted large bonuses to new recruits... all to no avail. Another distinctive Marine look that sets the proudest service members apart. And you spend less on shampoo. When you buy a pizza and pitcher of beer, Tony buys you your second pitcher of beer! Double Time, MARCH Ah put me up Ah put me up Don't let me down Don't let me down Ah pump it up Ah pump it up All around … They are arguing over who is most loyal to their team. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. What I need was a little bit more. The recruiter promised him adventure and action, and the teenager was buying it all up. It put into port in Bangkok for a weekend, but he was told he had security duty, and couldn't go into town with his fellow Marines. I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. It's like my life has no porpoise anymore. And you spend less on shampoo. "Were you in the service?" They have to disguise themselves as trees and stand still until their Drill Seargent allows them to move. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. He said 1957. Just before the school year started, he injured his. There was no shortage of young liberal ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. A woman is talking to a marine that she thinks he is uptight, so she aks him when the last time he had sex was. As he does so, he sees a Navy SEAL walk in, use the urinal, and walk out without stopping to wash his hands. 4) If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. I need a … A young Marine was deployed on a Navy ship. So he politely asks her if he can sit there. Required. Marine Corps. The pilot exlaims "that's the shortest damn runway I've ever seen". You can't have a bad hair day with a high and tight. "Did you see any active duty?" Just before the school year started, he injured his. Bu. The Englishman is obviously disgusted at the thought, so he gets up, gets his wife and leaves. 2) Dress blues. The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Marine pilot," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" Long During training, he just can't keep up, so the sergeant tells him to go home and wait until he's called upon as a reserve. 1 2 3 4 United States Marine Corps Now on land, sea or in the air, They get the job done no matter where. But I am getting used to it, so I like to sleep late. Marine Corps. Marine Corps. AR15.COM is the world’s largest firearm community and is a gathering place for firearm enthusiasts of all types. The rifle is the primary tool by which an individual Marine: (1) Obtains dominance over the enemy and (2) neutralizes ", By the time a Navy pilot pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. ', They saved millions of fish from drowning. Asked the interviewer. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a Marine joke? They have to disguise themselves as trees and stand still until their Drill Seargent allows them to move. Purpose and Intent. Would you like to hear it?". Not. We have a large selection of quality bumper stickers and vinyl decals for your car, motorcycle, or truck. "I was in Vietnam for 2 years and I have a partial disability." One day a man decides to join the US Marine corps. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base? Two airmen were driving across country on leave. The Aussie Sergeant finished first and walked out without washing his hands. ", This happened earlier today at a patriotic chapel service (could be the joke in itself), They are surrounded by a tribe of cannibals and are approached by the chief of the tribe. A Marine walks into the restroom and procedes to use the urinal. The soldier salutes smartly and promptly complies, and the General is smug while remarking "now THAT'S bravery". The marine replies "the guy sitting next to me is a marine and so is the guy sitting next him, are you sure you want to tell that joke". If you give the command "SECURE THE BUILDING", here is what the different services would do: The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech, and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a United States Marine Corps General. Don't forget to browse our USMC bumper sticker selection. . VetFriends has the best military humor on the web. 2) Dress blues. Do you have change for a dollar?” Soldier: “No, SIR!” Joke #4 The train was quite crowded, and the Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat. They promised any general who retired straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished. The Ameri, *A Marine walks into a bar and notices a Jar on the counter top with money in it.*. The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. The pair race up to the sheep, where the marine drops his pants and begins fucking the sheep. I think it's a turtle over reaction. 2nd Battalion, 1st Marines (2/1) is an infantry battalion in the United States Marine Corps based out of Camp Horno on Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, California.Nicknamed "The Professionals," the battalion consists of approximately 1,200 Marines and sailors. The other Marines were always impressed with the enigmatic skills the Navajos had in predicting weather, where to find water, and tracking ability. The Department of the Navy is now assigning females to quarters in a separate private "OFF LIMITS" area on all aircraft carriers. Being curious, he walked over and saw that the boy was building something with the mud. From hunters and military members, to competition shooters and general firearm enthusiasts, we welcome anyone who values and respects the way of the firearm. The plane comes to a stop just inches from the terminal. Essential. How do you say “helicopter”in the Marine Corps? If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. They've advertised, offered college money, granted large bonuses to new recruits... all to no avail. There seemed to be one next to a well-dressed middle-aged French woman, but when he got there he saw it was taken by the woman's poodle. Not all publications in use by the Marine Corps have been digitized, but this is the official source for those that have. Joke #2. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. So when they come home from all the battles, Click here for more information. They're the coolest uniforms in any military worldwide. All of them are old, grizzled men who had seen their fair share of war, so the Pentagon comes up with a unique bonus system for their service. Wouldn't this joke be better if she was Army since the Marine Corps is part of the Navy? They can choose two points of their bodies and for every inch between them they would get 10k. how about not dissing the marine corps considering they are the first ones into a combat zone and that is why? ", The VA clerk explains to them, âGentlemen, we are going to try out a new policy. Author's note - Wrote this from memory. Choose from military jokes such as army jokes, navy jokes and marine jokes that will bring out the military humor in the most serious sergeants. U.S. Armed Services recruiting efforts are slipping. A Taliban leader was leading a team on a patrol when he hears from over the hill; âOne Marine vs. two Taliban!â, The put the flaps up and descend lower, lower, lower and finally touch down. I was going to study marine biology dude. Ah 1, 2, 3, 4. When he is done, he travels over to the sink and begins to wash his hands. One of the patrons at the bar saw him and helped him get to a barstool and get a drink. God says “Well surely he wants to die, and I’m an asshole so I’m kill him but in a really roundabout way.” God snaps his fingers and the marines … because they are the most respectable and mo Army vs. Marine joke - Page 2 International Military Forums > Military Discussion Forums > Military Jokes and Humor … ir Force was just ah to easy. The commanding officers of each group are discussing the merits of SAS vs Marines: these officers have reputations for being the strongest, toughest and most feared men in the whole of the armed forces. "Well, I had a grenade go off between my legs and I lost both testicles." The Department of the Navy is now assigning females to quarters in a separate private OFF LIMITS area on all aircraft carriers. And says to the bartender: hey wanna hear a blonde joke? MCWP 5-1 (Marine Corps Planning Process), MCRP 3-OA, and the Joint Training Manual (CJCSM 3500.03) describe the Mission Analysis and METL development process. The brakes of the plane screeches and howl unlike anything you've ever heard. See what else we have to offer. 12.5k. Ah Army, Navy was ah not for me. The driver rolls down the window, and the Marine smacks him in … Top posts september 6th 2015 Top posts of september, 2015 Top posts 2015. an Army general, an Air Force general and a Navy Admiral sitting in the club arguing about who's enlisted members have the biggest balls. Click here for more information. The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. The army general says, "Alright, I'll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallasï¼headed for Houston.. One sat in the window seatï¼the other sat in the middle seat. One month into Marine Corps training in San Diego, we were preparing for a ten-mile march in 100-degree weather when a jeep drove up with a big - sophisticated looking radio in the back. 142,806 jokes 59,447 thumbs up 5,448 active users 1157 visitors online 3,871 topics 10,697 humor websites 40,653 humor links Related Topics Army Asked Back Best Corps First General Hands Manager Marine Marines Military Navy One Pigs President Problem Room Said Sergeant Shoes Sir Snoring Soldier They Time Two War When You They come to a Marine Corps base and decide to visit. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. One wags a tail and the other tags a whale. A large group of Isis fighters in Iraq are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune: "I know because they announced it as soon as they walked in". "Or just a bed, I don't care where." Anybody caught breaking this rule will b, The first guy says, "This is great but, back home in Chicago we have a bar called Tony's. During training, he just can't keep up, so the Sergeant tells him to go home and wait until he's called upon as a reserve. They're the coolest uniforms in any military worldwide. The co-pilot looks t, A man walks up to them and asks what theyâre up to. A man was being interviewed for a job. 19.9m. He said i hope so, it is only 2100! Add that Marine Corps touch to your vehicle with decals and stickers from Devil Dog Depot. All weekend he stood sentry at the ship, hearing from his comrades about the gorgeous girls working the local brothels, an, "**New study reveals migrating Crows' droppings may be responsible for great barrier barrier reef bleaching**". And you spend less on shampoo. To their surprise, the ship's company find the remains of a shipwreck there, a couple of decades old, and a single survivor, a Welsh mariner who has busied himself building an exact replica of a Welsh village, complete with a town hall, a pub, a rugby pitch, and two chapels. She says "I have always wanted to visit Europe, but I can't afford a ticket.". The marine says, "I once killed 50 enemy combatants with a single belt of my M249." the first marine says, “those are deer tracks.” second disagrees “them are elk tracks” the third disagrees with both of them”those are moose tracks” they were still arguing when the train hit them. In the Army they taught us to shoot back. Just before take-offï¼an Army soldier got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Marines. I opened it and he said, "My daughter came back home crying and penniless because of you!". Intelligence. 142,806 jokes 59,439 thumbs up 5,447 active users 406 visitors online 3,871 topics 10,697 humor websites 40,653 humor links Related Topics Army Assignments Attack Base Coke Fire Flight Force Gone Houston Marine Marines Middle Military Navy One Out Point Sailors Seat Ship Shoe Shoes Soldier Spit Store Think Tracks Two Window Three marines are walking through the woods and come across a set of tracks. The junior officers challenged the senior officers at an Air Force Base in North Carolina to see who would donate the most blood. A Navy Chief rolls onto base and sees two marines, one is digging a hole and the other marine is filling in a hole behind him. That evening he arrives at his new post; a run down mosque in the middle of nowhere. "Yes, I was a marine," responded the applicant. He finished his training (Semper Fi!) A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. One lofty Sunday God looks down and sees a boat of six Marines paddling in the ocean, chanting; ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR...United States Marine Corps. – A Platoon. Just before the big meeting in Singapore Kim Jong-un decided to send Donald. I mean, I don't do them on porpoise... One sunny day in late January 2021 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench.  He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Trump. Created Jan 25, 2008. The pilot shoots himself with his sidearm, and the engineer asks for some fast acting pois. 2: I Used to Sit at Home All Day: 3: I Wanna Be a Drill Instructor: 4: Delayed Recon Cadence Count: 5: Mama, Mama, Can't You See? performance standards to assure successful mission accomplishment. 5. The Soldier kicked off his shoesï¼wiggled his toes and was settling i. "You're hired. She said wow, so she convinced him to have sex with her and she said that he is still good for it being 1957 when he last had sex. The soldier opens his tent and sees a scorpion crawling on the floor. Okay this is all in good fun and with all due respect to the Corps. Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out towards him. In the middle of the room there is a barrel with a hole in it. Due to the increasing operational requirements around the world, Headquarters Marine Corps authorized the reactivation of 3/4 starting October 1, 2015. He walks up to them. The Witch Doctor goes to each of the men and says "I will grant you all one wish, however at the end you will be killed and made a part of my tent.". Your Marine Corps '1, 2, 3, 4, Marine Corps’: Watch the new cadence the Corps created for its 244th birthday 3) Bloused trousers. If it is an Air Force pl, The first man says, "I served in the U.S. Army for 10 years. 14. 6: 1, 2, 3, 4 United States Marine Corps! The President orders a single, clearly marked white rabbit to be released into the California redwood forests. Joke #3. " The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir. Unfazed, he crushes the scorpion, crawls into bed, and falls asleep. Turns out it was just a lot of maths. Family Readiness Officer: 910-450-6492 (office) 910-381-6778 (cell) Online. Normally they fall under the command of the 1st Marine Regiment and the 1st Marine Division Addressing all boat personnel at Pearl Harbor, CINCPAC advised, "The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males. U.S. Armed Services recruiting efforts are slipping. Join. He will either break it, lose it, or get it pregnant. After trying several times to locate a vein in the left arm of a young first lieutenant, the medical technician applied a Band-Aid, and then inserted a needle into the right arm, drawing blood this time, and then put a Band-Aid on that arm as well. Having developed a paranoid sense for lab safety precautions, the chemist is worried about jumping into water with unknown impurities. A crusty old Marine found himself at a Winter Ball where there was no shortage of hot ladies in attendance. Hands down. Private, get over here!". Are. Which is going to make it really difficult to comfort someone who is going through a relationship break-up.
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